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meta_eugzol в посте Metapractice (оригинал в ЖЖ)

“The pattern of my life has heretofore been as follows: In all of my undertakings, initially there is the promise of dazzling success. Things go well until the going gets a little rough. This is when I usually give up and fail.
“I am particularly hopeful to give up the pattern of stuttering, because it really has prevented me from flowing freely with other people and sometimes even being with them. I have also allowed it to prevent my expansive movement in the world. Since it is a childhood trait, to an extent it keeps me feeling like a child.
“My life right now is entering upon a period of change, but at present I am still unable to manifest my skills in the world and earn my living. My current situation is wracked with existential guilt. The only jobs presently available to me are semiskilled or unskilled labor jobs. This is painfully unsatisfactory to me in light of my past. I sailed through graduate school (in operations research and theoretical statistics) dropping out before I got a Ph.D. in order to pursue music. I did music for a while — things went well. I was liking to hear what I played and was receiving some recognition for my music. Then I stopped playing for a while, and when I resumed I felt that there was less consciousness and more rigidity in my left side. From that point on my music has been deteriorating, and I no longer consider myself a serious professional musician. With my diminished ability to play music, my self-hate has increased, as did my consumption of drugs. It has only been in the last two years that I have been tapering off drugs (I was taking them pretty regularly for seven years).
“I feel like I am in a stronger place now and have an ardent desire to make my life work. I am hopeful about the prospect of working with you, although I am consciously aware of a strong resistance to being healthy, which still continues to haunt me. This resistance is part of my ego- pattern too. Perhaps out of fear or mistrust, I subtly resist cooperating with people.
“I hope to hear from you soon. I look forward to working with you if you will take me on. I will be available at your convenience after the first of April (except Tuesday evenings through April). Respectfully yours, George Leckie.”