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metanymous в посте Metapractice (оригинал в ЖЖ)

If you examine these examples for what they have in common, there are some interesting lessons. One is that rather than run away or separate from the situation, they stayed connected with the difficulty, and maintained a relationship. Nothing works all the time; I’m sure that there are people who tried this kind of approach without the same success. But staying connected retains access to all your resources, and gives you an opportunity to have an impact on someone else in a threatening situation.
Another common element in all these examples is that they all refused to accept the frame or context that they were presented with, and instead created a new frame that was more to their liking. They each created a context that was much better than the one that they found themselves in, and acted within that frame in a way that drew the other person into the new frame, eliciting a different response.
This was a constant theme in the work of Virginia Satir’s very successful work with families. “Anybody on the outside of me is someone whom I can respond to, but they are never the definers of me, unless I have handed over my charge of myself to them.” In order to offer a new and better frame, these people needed to have all their internal resources available to them, and not be embroiled in the internal turmoil that is always a part of fear or anger, and which would have made them weak and vulnerable.
It can be useful to consider the opposite situation. Can you think of a time in your life when your external reality was rather pleasant, perhaps even particularly wonderful, but you couldn’t enjoy it because you were so embroiled in some kind of internal turmoil? Certainly paranoia is an example of someone who is having a very bad time, often despite the attempts of people around them to help them enjoy life. If you don’t make peace with your internal divisions, you’re going to have an unpleasant time, whether or not you solve external problems, and this is a fundamental message in many spiritual traditions. “The kingdom of heaven is within you,” is not just abstract metaphor, it’s a very direct statement about where the solution lies.
Sue: You have been talking about the problems caused by internal representations that are involved in conflicts. Could you say a little about positive representations?