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eugzol в посте Metapractice (оригинал в ЖЖ)
at all. He explained that to "set up dreaming" meant to have a concise and pragmatic control over
the general situation of a dream, comparable to the control one has over any choice in the desert,
such as climbing up a hill or remaining in the shade of a water canyon.
"You must start by doing something very simple, " he said.
"Tonight in your dreams you must look at your hands." I laughed out loud. His tone was so factual
that it was as if he were telling me to do something commonplace.
"Why do you laugh?" he asked with surprise.
"How can I look at my hands in my dreams?"
"Very simple, focus your eyes on them just like this." He bent his head forward and stared at his
hands with his mouth open. His gesture was so comical that I had to laugh.
"Seriously, how can you expect me to do that?" I asked.
"The way I've told you, " he snapped. "You can, of course, look at whatever you goddamn please-
your toes, or your belly, or your pecker, for that matter. I said your hands because that was the
easiest thing for me to look at. Don't think it's a joke. Dreaming is as serious as seeing or dying or
any other thing in this awesome, mysterious world.
"Think about it as something entertaining. Imagine all the inconceivable things you could
accomplish. A man hunting for power has almost no limits in his dreaming."
I asked him to give me some pointers.
"There aren't any pointers, " he said. "Just look at your hands."
"There must be more that you could tell me, " I insisted.
He shook his head and squinted his eyes, staring at me in short glances.
"Every one of us is different, " he finally said. "What you call pointers would only be what I myself
did when I was learning. We are not the same; we aren't even vaguely alike."
"Maybe anything you'd say would help me."
"It would be simpler for you just to start looking at your hands."
He seemed to be organizing his thoughts and bobbed his head up and down.
"Every time you look at anything in your dreams it changes shape, " he said after a long silence.
"The trick in learning to set up dreaming is obviously not just to look at things but to sustain the
sight of them. Dreaming is real when one has succeeded in bringing everything into focus. Then
there is no difference between what you do when you sleep and what you do when you are not
sleeping. Do you see what I mean?"
I confessed that although I understood what he had said I was incapable of accepting his premise. I
brought up the point that in a civilized world there were scores of people who had delusions and
could not distinguish what took place in the real world from what took place in their fantasies. I
said that such persons were undoubtedly mentally ill, and my uneasiness increased every time he
would recommend I should act like a crazy man.
After my long explanation don Juan made a comical gesture of despair by putting his hands to his
cheeks and sighing loudly. "Leave your civilized world alone, " he said. "Let it be! Nobody is
asking you to behave like a madman. I've already told you, a warrior has to be perfect in order to
deal with the powers he hunts; how can you conceive that a warrior would not be able to tell things
apart?
"On the other hand, you, my friend, who know what the real world is, would fumble and die in no
time at all if you would have to depend on your ability for telling what is real and what is not."
I obviously had not expressed what I really had in mind. Every time I protested I was simply
voicing the unbearable frustration of being in an untenable position.
"I am not trying to make you into a sick, crazy man, " don Juan went on. "You can do that yourself
without my help.
But the forces that guide us brought you to me, and I have been endeavoring to teach you to change
your stupid ways and live the strong clean life of a hunter. Then the forces guided you again and
told me that you should learn to live the impeccable life of a warrior. Apparently you can't. But
who can tell? We are as mysterious and as awesome as this unfathomable world, so who can tell
what you're capable of?"
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There was an underlying tone of sadness in don Juan's voice. I wanted to apologize, but he began to
talk again.
"You don't have to look at your hands, " he said. "Like I've said, pick anything at all. But pick one
thing in advance and find it in your dreams. I said your hands because they'll always be there.
"When they begin to change shape you must move your sight away from them and pick something
else, and then look at your hands again. It takes a long time to perfect this technique."
I had become so involved in writing that I had not noticed that it was getting dark. The sun had
already disappeared over the horizon. The sky was cloudy and the twilight was imminent. Don Juan
stood up and gave furtive glances towards the south.
"Let's go, " he said. "We must walk south until the spirit of the water hole shows itself."
talk again.
"You don't have to look at your hands, " he said. "Like I've said, pick anything at all. But pick one
thing in advance and find it in your dreams. I said your hands because they'll always be there.
"When they begin to change shape you must move your sight away from them and pick something
else, and then look at your hands again. It takes a long time to perfect this technique."
I had become so involved in writing that I had not noticed that it was getting dark. The sun had
already disappeared over the horizon. The sky was cloudy and the twilight was imminent. Don Juan
stood up and gave furtive glances towards the south.
"Let's go, " he said. "We must walk south until the spirit of the water hole shows itself."