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eugzol в посте Metapractice (оригинал в ЖЖ)
nature of knowledge leaves one no alternative but to become a warrior.
"By the time knowledge becomes a frightening affair the man also realizes that death is the
irreplaceable partner that sits next to him on the mat. Every bit of knowledge that becomes
power has death as its central force. Death lends the ultimate touch, and whatever is touched
by death indeed becomes power.
"A man who follows the paths of sorcery is confronted with imminent annihilation every turn
of the way, and unavoidably he becomes keenly aware of his death. Without the awareness of
death he would be only an ordinary man involved in ordinary acts. He would lack the
necessary potency, the necessary concentration that transforms one's ordinary time on earth
into magical power.
"Thus to be a warrior a man has to be, first of all, and rightfully so, keenly aware of his own
death. But to be concerned with death would force any one of us to focus on the self and that
would be debilitating. So the next thing one needs to be a warrior is detachment. The idea of
imminent death, instead of becoming an obsession, becomes an indifference."
Don Juan stopped talking and looked at me. He seemed to be waiting for a comment.
"Do you understand?" he asked.
I understood what he had said but I personally could not see how anyone could arrive at a
sense of detachment. I said that from the point of view of my own apprenticeship I had
already experienced the moment when knowledge became such a frightening affair. I could
also truthfully say that I no longer found support in the ordinary premises of my daily life.
And I wanted, or perhaps even more than wanted, I needed, to live like a warrior.
"Now you must detach yourself," he said.
"From what?"
"Detach yourself from everything."
"That's impossible. I don't want to be a hermit."
"To be a hermit is an indulgence and I never meant that. A hermit is not detached, for he
willfully abandons himself to being a hermit.
"Only the idea of death makes a man sufficiently detached so he is incapable of abandoning
himself to anything. Only the idea of death makes a man sufficiently detached so he can't
deny himself anything. A man of that sort, however, does not crave, for he has acquired a
silent lust for life and for all things of life. He knows his death is stalking him and won't give
him time to cling to anything, so he tries, without craving, all of everything.
"A detached man, who knows he has no possibility of fencing off his death, has only one
thing to back himself with: the power of his decisions. He has to be, so to speak, the master of
his choices. He must fully understand that his choice is his responsibility and once he makes it
there is no longer time for regrets or recriminations. His decisions are final, simply because
his death does not permit him time to cling to anything.
"And thus with an awareness of his death, with his detachment, and with the power of his
decisions a warrior sets his life in a strategical manner. The knowledge of his death guides
him and makes him detached and silently lusty; the power of his final decisions makes him
able to choose without regrets and what he chooses is always strategically the best; and so he
performs everything he has to with gusto and lusty efficiency.
"When a man behaves in such a manner one may rightfully say that he is a warrior and has
acquired patience!"
Don Juan asked me if I had anything to say, and I remarked that the task he had described
would take a lifetime. He said I protested too much in front of him and that he knew I
behaved, or at least tried to behave, in terms of a warrior in my day-to-day life.
"You have pretty good claws," he said, laughing. "Show them to me from time to time. It's
good practice."
I made a gesture of claws and growled, and he laughed. Then he cleared his throat and went
on talking.